UNUSUAL ENGLISH:

I saw a sign at a farm that said:  "COWS CLOSE GATE".
I didn't know that cows could read.

Our English language must be very hard to learn, despite the fact that it's spoken in one form or another by about a third of the world's people. The rules seem flexible at best.

If 2 mouses are mice, then why aren't 2 blouses blice? Or or 2 houses hice? If it's one ox and 2 oxen, why shouldn't it be one fox and 2 foxen? "Henry, grab the shotgun, there's foxen in the henhice!"

If I described something I saw, would I be making an optical allusion?

I actually witnessed this linguistic transaction a couple weeks ago. A customer in a bar ordered "A hamburger loaded, with mayo." When the food came he told her it wasn't what he wanted. "You told me loaded with mayo and that's what I gave you. Not enough mayo?," she asked. "I wanted it with everything, you know 'loaded' AND mayo," he explained. I cracked up. I knew it was an honest mistake. She didn't hear the comma.

There are a lot of unusual signs out there. There's one on the east side of I65 in Indiana that says:  USED COWS FOR SALE...hmmm.

There is a billboard near Louisville, (they pronounce it "Louavl" or "Looval") that reads: TATTOO CHARLIE'S - Tattoos While You Wait Like what, you're going to leave your arm and pick it up Thursday?

More on local pronunciation:

Cadiz is ka-dees in Spain, but sounds like katie's in Kentucky
Cairo is kye-row in Egypt, but kayro in Illinois
Chicagoans say shuh-caw-go
Hobart, IN is pronounced Hobert
Salty is called saline (say-line) but the town in Texas built on a salt dome in called Suh-leen
SanFrancisco is never "Frisco"

English is a very flexible language. It's easy to create concise descriptions. You know that moment when you need to sneeze and just can't? I'd call it EJECTILE DISFUNCTION.

I'll add more as I think of them, but you can help by sending
in unusual signs or funny examples of English.

Send them to Dorothy@ImUnusual.com
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