Unusual funny-but-true "sayings",
mottos and not-so-famous quotes
                                                                 Add a saying

Opportunities always look bigger going
than coming.    

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand. 
   
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.( Contributed by John O.)

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.    
( Contributed by John O.)

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two
hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves
you thirty cents?   ( Contributed by John O.)

In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
( Contributed by John O.)

Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer
you get to the end, the faster it goes.

Life is sexually transmitted.  ( Contributed by
John O.)

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate
at which one can die.
( Contributed by John O.)
                      
Once you get over the hill, you begin to pick up speed.    

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you
to recognize a mistake when you make it again.          
You can go broke buying bargains.
    Lillian Knowles   

Be careful about reading health books.
You may die of a misprint.          
Mark Twain

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and
you sleep alone.
      Anthony Burgess
                  
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed
of checks.  

Unusual signs
across the USA
                             Add a sign

"PROP-DOC"
Your local Proptologist
Sign spotted at a Key
West boat repair shop
(Submitted by Maureen S.)

MARATHON, FL. mm 49
"Snow Route" sign
What's strange about
this sign? Its location:
Mammajoe's V-twin
shop, 70 miles south
of Miami.
(Submitted by Tim P)



UNUSUAL BOAT NAME
Would you want to
parasail off a boat that
is whimsically named
"Chute Happens"? 
I wouldn't. (Submitted by
Lee S)

Put in your 2 cents

Next time you see an
unusual sign or unusual
sight, snap a picture
and send it in.

Submit unusual things

(No fee - No hassle)

At a radiator shop (A-1 Radiator): "Best Place in Town to take a Leak"

Sign over a gynecologist's office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

On a plumbers truck: "We repair what your husband tried to fix."

On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

Sign seen on a farm gate in the South:  "COWS CLOSE GATE"
(We didn't know cows could read.)

Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."

At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout"

Door of a plastic surgeon's office: "Hello. Can we pick your nose or would
you rather do it"

At a laundry shop: "How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge,
close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?"

At a towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

On an electrician's truck "Let us remove your shorts."

In a nonsmoking area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire
and take appropriate action."

On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push."

At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've
come to the right place."

On a taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

In a podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."

On a fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."

At a car dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment."

Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."

In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

Veterinary's office: "All unattended children will be given a free kitten"

Inside a Bowling Alley: "Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop."

Sign at the psychic's Hotline: "Don't call us, we'll call you."

Billboard on the side of the road: "Keep your eyes on the road and stop
reading these signs."

In a counselors office: "Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional."

In a restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry. Come on in and
get fed up." In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."

CREATE  YOUR  
OWN SIGNS
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you can create your own
computer-generated signs:  Highways signs, restaurant signs, computer error messages and more. Print them out or email to friends.
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